(See my previous entry for explanation of the following... you're going to need it...)
Sunday 1/30
Mission: giant bras. I've never shopped for bras this large before. Walmart has really large bras--it turns out the big ones are in little boxes and packages, stacked in rolling shelves. Why? Is it to protect the dignity of the customer? Why not stuff all bras into little boxes and stack them on recessed shelving?
As I stared at the rows of boxes, it occurred to me that Edna and Maybelle's chest measurements might not actually match up to the numbers available. I spent the next twenty minutes unfolding giant bras, holding them up in front of me, even wrapping them around myself to get an estimate on size. I noticed the other customers carefully avoided me while I made my choices. If they had asked me why I was buying such large bras, I don't think the real explanation (that I'm buying them for some of my high school students, who just happen to be boys) would have cleared up their confusion any.
On the other end of the spectrum, three other characters, the "Dynamites," needed cute little matching red dresses, so I trolled the Lawrence strip malls. Red is out for the season, I guess, but Maurices came through for me, and they even had the correct sizes. Did you know, size 1 dresses use approximately the same amount of fabric as 48DD bras.
Tuesday 2/1
Between Scholars' Bowl, teaching, and my rigorous winter basketball-watching schedule (GO KU!), I started getting concerned about when exactly I was going have hours to devote to sewing costumes. The Blizzard of '11 provided the perfect opportunity, especially since I couldn't leave the house anyway. Tuesday was just me, scissors, yards of purple and pink fabric, and Pirates of the Caribbean, for hours and hours. I felt like I spent most of my time folding and unfolding feather-thin tan pattern paper. From observing my mother, I have learned that it is possible (with intense concentration) to refold sewing patterns along their original lines. I wish I didn't know that.
Wednesday 2/2
Costume construction began. Patterns don't always lead you to the size that they promise, as if it's not complicated enough to try to figure out what size to cut out. I spent my afternoon wrestling purple polyester into what I hoped would match up with Edna's 17-year-old-boy-with-feminine-padding measurements.
Thursday 2/3
Tracy's mother had volunteered to sew two of the costumes, so I sent fabric home with Tracy on Monday. By Tuesday night the costume was finished, but Wednesday morning Tracy showed up in my room on the verge of tears. The finished dress she was to deliver to me had been misplaced in transit. I sent out a desperate plea via Topeka West mass email: "Colleagues: If you have any information on the whereabouts of a large pink sparkly dress..."
The missing dress was later recovered through the combined efforts of the truancy officer, the dance coach, and one very gracious janitor.
Meanwhile, I had Edna try on her partially-constructed purple wonderdress, and her wonderful bra. Both fit exactly as I had hoped. Miracles happen, yes, they do.
Sunday 1/30
Mission: giant bras. I've never shopped for bras this large before. Walmart has really large bras--it turns out the big ones are in little boxes and packages, stacked in rolling shelves. Why? Is it to protect the dignity of the customer? Why not stuff all bras into little boxes and stack them on recessed shelving?
As I stared at the rows of boxes, it occurred to me that Edna and Maybelle's chest measurements might not actually match up to the numbers available. I spent the next twenty minutes unfolding giant bras, holding them up in front of me, even wrapping them around myself to get an estimate on size. I noticed the other customers carefully avoided me while I made my choices. If they had asked me why I was buying such large bras, I don't think the real explanation (that I'm buying them for some of my high school students, who just happen to be boys) would have cleared up their confusion any.
On the other end of the spectrum, three other characters, the "Dynamites," needed cute little matching red dresses, so I trolled the Lawrence strip malls. Red is out for the season, I guess, but Maurices came through for me, and they even had the correct sizes. Did you know, size 1 dresses use approximately the same amount of fabric as 48DD bras.
Tuesday 2/1
Between Scholars' Bowl, teaching, and my rigorous winter basketball-watching schedule (GO KU!), I started getting concerned about when exactly I was going have hours to devote to sewing costumes. The Blizzard of '11 provided the perfect opportunity, especially since I couldn't leave the house anyway. Tuesday was just me, scissors, yards of purple and pink fabric, and Pirates of the Caribbean, for hours and hours. I felt like I spent most of my time folding and unfolding feather-thin tan pattern paper. From observing my mother, I have learned that it is possible (with intense concentration) to refold sewing patterns along their original lines. I wish I didn't know that.
Wednesday 2/2
Costume construction began. Patterns don't always lead you to the size that they promise, as if it's not complicated enough to try to figure out what size to cut out. I spent my afternoon wrestling purple polyester into what I hoped would match up with Edna's 17-year-old-boy-with-feminine-padding measurements.
Thursday 2/3
Tracy's mother had volunteered to sew two of the costumes, so I sent fabric home with Tracy on Monday. By Tuesday night the costume was finished, but Wednesday morning Tracy showed up in my room on the verge of tears. The finished dress she was to deliver to me had been misplaced in transit. I sent out a desperate plea via Topeka West mass email: "Colleagues: If you have any information on the whereabouts of a large pink sparkly dress..."
The missing dress was later recovered through the combined efforts of the truancy officer, the dance coach, and one very gracious janitor.
Meanwhile, I had Edna try on her partially-constructed purple wonderdress, and her wonderful bra. Both fit exactly as I had hoped. Miracles happen, yes, they do.
2 comments:
Oh, dear....
Oh, dear....
Oh, my.... What great fun! MF
i'm laughing and crying... i honestly wouldn't believe these were true stories if i didn't know you and the oddness of your real life.
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